What do you do?
I get asked this pretty regularly, and I find I’m still answering the same way I did two or three years ago – “I naturally dye yarn, and I build and manage websites.”
I have to say this answer doesn’t feel totally true, or genuine these day, even with the ‘oh and I’m a mother’ tacked on the end. Or rather because ‘oh and I’m a mother’ is tacked on the end, when – in reality – mothering is what I spend the vast amount of my time doing.
At a time when most of my other parent friends have long gone back to work, I’m still here, living a day to day life with FB beside me, and managing websites during naptime, as well as working towards us moving house (soon *fingers crossed*) so that I can start dyeing again.
Aside from a very hands on husband, I’ve don’t have any other external support, so if one of us is sick, or (like last night) up half the night with a little boy who is too awake and probably teething, then some of my plans have to shift a bit. Which means if I don’t want to be chronically short on time, a have to limit how many plans are made in the first place.
I don’t know when I started feeling like explaining my life was some how wrong… except that staying at home to look after your children seems pretty alien to most people.
Or maybe I just assume that they’ll find it strange. And suddenly feel the need to justify myself – ‘well I do work too – I’m self employed! We don’t have lots of money but we get by and live without a car, etc etc’ (See how I’m sneakily justifying myself to you there? Clever huh?)
Oxford Kitchen Yarns is still really important to me, and I’m still really committed to it. But I’ve also made my peace with the idea that I can’t do shows right now, and that it’s going to stay a tiny little company while other bits of my life settle themselves down.
And that right now, the truth is that I’m a mother. Who also dyes yarn and builds websites (sometimes.)