LR (a girl!) born last wednesday, 20th October 2010, at 7.39pm, at home. Weighed 10lb 1oz and yes – all that hair!

Mum and baby doing well, FB coping considering he’s only just turned two, and Dad wishes there was more help on hand, and that the weather would stay fine so that all the washing had a chance to dry.

We’re all feeling our way forwards, trying to find a new normal, and yes there have been tears because it really is harder and easier at the same time. But it also feels like she’s been here forever.

Everytime our neighbours (meaning pretty much the whole street – bless them! – how did we get so lucky?) fail to see me for a day they get all excited and think we’ve had the baby.  Given how easy I am to spot right now maybe that’s not much of a surprise.

My due date was basically this weekend (the 15th, adjusted from the 17th so make of that what you will), and for the last week or so there have been aches and cramps but nothing particularly painful, just noticeable. And nothing that is going anywhere.

And so we’re still waiting.

FB’s birthday has come and gone and no2 stayed inside (I’m pretty happy about that.) An event that my midwife really wanted to go to has come and gone and no2 stayed inside (She is pretty happy about that. 😉

But No2 – I’d like to meet you. I’d like your daddy to be a home with us all for a bit. I’d like not to lumber about the place.

I’d like to know that I actually can give birth without a ton of chemicals running the show. People keep telling me that it’s possible but I’m scared to get my hopes up (again.)

(All that said: I found a picture – which I will spare you – of me in hospital the day before FB was born. Damn but I look so tired! I’d rather be here that there.)

Today I’m 39 +3, and after a couple of days feeling low I’ve decided that I’m not going to read anything more about pregnancy and birth.

Ok that’s not true. I’m going to re-read Ina May Gaskin’s chapter on Sphincter Law and then I’m done.

I need to spend some time believing that I can do this, rather than worrying that this will be FB’s birth all over again. (There is no reason that it should be – but that hasn’t stopped me worrying.)

I need to spend some time doing other things – enjoying now, and preparing for the arrival of No2 (beyond ‘everything is washed, and put in obvious places.’)

I’ve finish sewing my pads, and more wipes (bar 5 because I couldn’t face re-threading my serger for the umpteenth time.)

FB turns 2 on wednesday, (unless there is a one day old in the house or I am in labour, in which case he will technically turn 2 on wednesday and we’ll celebrate it at the end of the week, or the weekend. Thank goodness at 2 he won’t remember that!) He’s already got a great book and sock monkey from his little buddies, and another great book and playmat from his aunt and uncle.

The doll is finished, and I’m looking forward to not having to hide it away any more – so there should be some more photos and a post or two about the clothing very soon (life permitting.) I had SO much fun making him, and I really would urge anyone who fancies having a good to screw their courage to the sticking place and go for it. It’s much easier than has been suggested.

Sorry I’m rambly today. I’m just in that sort of place.

More soon – I should show you some of the sewing I’ve been doing.